scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
