Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
