Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize