Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
