somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just threw up on my dentist
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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