If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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