apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
