i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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