HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
