in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
