So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
