it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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