it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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