Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
