I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
