Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
