He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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