In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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