Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
