so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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