Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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