Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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