Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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