I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
