So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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