youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
