I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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