I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
nutella sex= disaster
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
