Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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