He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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