For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
