I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
