some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
