haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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