Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
