Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
