Pants 0. Shit 1.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
