She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
