I'm lost and stupid without you.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
