smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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