it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize