She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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