Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
