he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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