I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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