My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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