# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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