She said her name was "party"
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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