Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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