she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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