you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i wish my penis had a tongue
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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