ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
