I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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