I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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