well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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