Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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