For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize