Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
