I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
