After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
