Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
