that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
