The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
