i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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