dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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