OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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