honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
