At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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