Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize