thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
