If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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